nondiscript

I'm feeling very I don't know. I don't want to say that I'm feeling depressed right now cause I don't think that's it. I feel like someone took just about every emotion one can feel threw them all in a blender and now there's this big emotion smoothie except this doesn't really taste that great. Over the past month I've gotten a wake up call to old memories, some good and some not. I don't know if it's the emotions of those old memories flooding back combined with all the new ones, but I know that my brain is on overload. The whole idea of now having to look for a job and figuring out the school thing is making my go crazy. There are times where I feel like I'm watching my life pass me by and I don't like where I'm headed. I've spent most of my life working, sometimes I felt like I was working for me, but most times it's for someone else. I wish I knew how to work it all at because at times like this God feels very far away and I don't know what it is He wants me to do.

Little Squirt

I can still hear him calling me little squirt at Kristy's wedding and I can remember all the drives from Buffalo to Rochester and vice versa, all the times we went out for breakfast or lunch whether it was Laura, Maria, and me or just Laura and me. He may not have been my blood grandfather but he was always Grumpy. To this day no one really knows why that's his nickname because he was always one of the happiest people I had ever known. Grumpy was a great man and he treated me and my sister like his own grand-daughters and my mom like a daughter and I know that if he would have known my brother he would have treated him just like a grand-son. Grumpy you will be missed very much and you will continue to be loved. You are in a better place and I know that you are still smiling down on us.