Is it a lie or truth?

A smile can hide a thousands pains just as the sands can hide a thousand treasures.

Update of my life?!

Well let's see it's been 5 weeks since my last post! WOW! Has very much happened in that time? No not really. I've babysat, housesat, run errands, and I've been going to church. I'm doing Alive and Pipeline, and I'm thinking of going the praise team. I'm still looking for a job and I need one BAD! So for all you prayers out there please be praying I find a job, & that my sister can find a better job!

Oh one AWESOME thing was my friend won this thing to get 20 free tickets to the Night of Joy at Disney! So Tim, my brother, and I along with 18 other people got to go for free and it was so great! The rides were great the Tower of Terror and the Rockin Roller-coaster, amazing! Then there were the concerts, Flyleaf, Family Force 5, and SKILLET!!!!! They were all great, but Skillet just OMGoodness. John Cooper, the lead singer, commissioned the crowed to stop sitting on the sidelines and waiting for others to do it or join them in being on fire for God. He said that other people won't always step up or stand behind but that doesn't matter because we already have the greatest companion that one could ask for in the Lord. So that was good times. I made new friends that are a God send.

Moving on from there, not to much else has happened. Maria, Tim, and Laura made my birthday really nice. Laura called a lot which was really nice, and Maria, Tim, and I went to the movies and just hung out for the day. It was really nice.

nondiscript

I'm feeling very I don't know. I don't want to say that I'm feeling depressed right now cause I don't think that's it. I feel like someone took just about every emotion one can feel threw them all in a blender and now there's this big emotion smoothie except this doesn't really taste that great. Over the past month I've gotten a wake up call to old memories, some good and some not. I don't know if it's the emotions of those old memories flooding back combined with all the new ones, but I know that my brain is on overload. The whole idea of now having to look for a job and figuring out the school thing is making my go crazy. There are times where I feel like I'm watching my life pass me by and I don't like where I'm headed. I've spent most of my life working, sometimes I felt like I was working for me, but most times it's for someone else. I wish I knew how to work it all at because at times like this God feels very far away and I don't know what it is He wants me to do.

Little Squirt

I can still hear him calling me little squirt at Kristy's wedding and I can remember all the drives from Buffalo to Rochester and vice versa, all the times we went out for breakfast or lunch whether it was Laura, Maria, and me or just Laura and me. He may not have been my blood grandfather but he was always Grumpy. To this day no one really knows why that's his nickname because he was always one of the happiest people I had ever known. Grumpy was a great man and he treated me and my sister like his own grand-daughters and my mom like a daughter and I know that if he would have known my brother he would have treated him just like a grand-son. Grumpy you will be missed very much and you will continue to be loved. You are in a better place and I know that you are still smiling down on us.

The song says it all for me right now

"The Time Of My Life"

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

So I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

Freedom

Today is America's 233rd birthday although not as old as many other nations around the world this country has made it's own mark on history. Through out it's year this country has had moments of pride and moments of sham, moments of strength and moments of weakness, but for all of her ups and downs she has been blessed. As I watched the fireworks tonight all I could think of was how these fireworks echo the sounds of cannon's that were fired so many years ago in The American Revolution, a war fought in order to gain it's freedom from Britain rule in the late 1700's. Those cannon's echoed again in The War of 1812, again fought with the British Empire as a part of the Napoleonic Wars. From 1861-1865 the sound of cannon's could again be heard through out the land as our country went to war with itself fighting for more then just one cause, this battle was to put an end to slavery and because of the blood shed of it's own people it united this country once and for all. Wars that followed it was the sound of missiles instead of cannons, instead of muskets and rifles it was the sounds of Submachine guns and AK-47's that could be heard. Times have changed, thankfully we have not had a full out war fought on our land since WW II, but we have fought for other freedoms and other human rights. Woman's Right Movements and The Civil Rights Movements, which itself was just as bloody and terrifying as any war. Today we are fighting a different war, in 2001 President G.W. Bush declared a war on terrorism due to the attacks of September 11th, 2001. This day still remains in the front of many peoples memories, a day not easily forgotten. A war against terrorism is not easily defined because it comes with so many different faces. These wars the wars of our past and of our present can not begin to compare with the battle that will one day be fought, The Battle of Armageddon, the war that will end all wars. The final battle between Father of Darkness and the Creator of All Things, a battle I don't want to ever imagine.

In all these wars those of the past and those yet to come I think of those who have laid down their lives for the sake of this country, for the sake of freedom, of justice, and of human and civil rights. They are heros that are never to be forgotten whether their fight was on a field or in the streets, or the courtrooms, or even the churches. This country was won and built on the backs of it's people. Let's of never forget them, let's never forget the reason's they fought and gave of themselves.

This country is a blessed nation. We honor those who gave their lives but let us remember the One who gave us this country. If we take God out of everything because of "political correctness" then we have lost the greatest war to ever be fought. The war within our own hearts, minds, and souls. The day God is completely refused by His people is the day we no longer need fear terrorism, the rejection of a sovereign God, that is something to truly be afraid of.

Gr

grr Grr GRRRR
I think that's all I have to say right now without getting myself into trouble!