Truth Made Known

There's so much that I thought was dead and gone. Issues and hurts that I thought would never come to surface again because they were through but I thought wrong. Sure it's in the past but the lessons that I learned then have brought to light new ones to be learned. God is reveling so much to me these days which is a very good thing because now I can deal with stuff in the light of better days rather then the gloom of those past. Lesson 1 being learned: Not everyone is the same! What am I learning from that? While those that cut me apart in the past, the old friends that I had, they are not my new friends. The people I surround myself with now are people that love me and won't try to cut me up and use me for their own personal gain and interest! Lesson 2: My boyfriend now is none of those guys I've dated before. To them I was nothing more then a toy to be played with until they broke me. They said "I love you" and never really meant it, they cared more about what they could get from me rather then for me. Ben is different, he does love me and I'm more then a thing to him. For the first time in my life there is a Godly man that I can trust with my heart and my dreams! I thank God for him everyday and for those in my life now! Lesson 3: Not all churches are equal, a sad lesson, but one greatly needed to be learned! I am the church, not just a person to fill a seat. I have God given gifts and talents that are needed by others. What part of the church I am, leg, mouth, ear, I have yet to learn but there is a place for me there. I am also just as much a mission field as a mission worker!
As I'm going through my days these truths are being made known to me and I am so grateful for them. I still have a little ways to go before the old and wrong ideas that were so ingrained into my very being due to past hurts are gone but with each passing day the scares are being healed and I owe it all to God and those He's placed in my life.

Happy In These Days!

These days I wake to a smile on my face, a light shines in my eyes that has never been there before. True there are sometimes darks days but I can make it through them in a way I never could before. How can I put into words the new meaning my life has taken now that you have become more then you once were? There's joy when there use to be sadness and peace when there was loneliness. I feel like I belong, like I'm worth more then the price others put on my head. Now I know that I'm beautiful and that someone loves me for who I am and doesn't make me feel like a toy. I'm no longer something to be played with and tossed aside the minute I show a sign of weakness. My tears, when their seen, aren't something to just be ignored, you brush them away and hold me tight. You speak life into me instead of trying to take it away. To say the words I love you would never fully say how much you mean to me. You mean more to me then you may ever know. Until I can find the words I love you will have to do. I love you with all of my heart and with everything I am. I love you!

Time Passed

I'm looking at all the time that has passed since the dreams of my youth and there is much I'm beginning to realize. Many of those dreams remain unchanged, others still remain but their DNA has changed thanks to the tides of time, while others are nothing but ghost of forgotten daydreams long gone. It's strange that the structure of my life has changed little since the days of my childhood, but I myself have changed more then I imagined, or am I more like I was then I thought. Maybe the tone is the same just a different key. Is the life I'm meant to live passing me by? Did all the wrong turns, all the stops and starts put me on a parallel line? I know where I want to be in life and I think I know how to get there but every time I try to head out something breaks down and I'm left stranded before I even left. How do I travel the road of my life with no form of transportation? Can ton wings and broken legs still move the one is was meant to carry?