Where are the words?

How do I express the joy I feel right now? How can I sing all the praises on my tongue? My God is great beyond what I can express. I feel at peace, there is no other word to use to describe what I feel right now, I feel as though I could put my head down to sleep and rest knowing that my God is in control but I also think that at any second I could leap off my chair and begin to dance to the song Jesus is writing in my life. Each note, each tone, each word in this symphony are unique, made just for me, two others know this song, the author and one who will share in it, someday. God's design for me is nothing like the world has ever seen before because this world does not know who I am and who I am going to be, nor do they know yet the work The Master has for me, but as He molds me and shapes me they will hear my voice, my cries, my words and they will come to know the God I serve. One day with the words that I write I will be able to let everyone know that my God reigns.

Awesome Truths

I went to college night at the church where I work and JJ just spoke so much truth tonight, a message I needed to hear. We learning about being pure and no I'm not talking about abstaining from sex, although that is a part of it all. Tonight we talked about pure worship and how it become a show with some people and places. We've let ourselves raise our hands and sing but the point of worship is lost, it's become a public display and it's wrong. If a person can not worship without eyes and really in the presents of God then they can't do it when the whole church/world/whomever is watching. He made a point about how people have become cynical and therefore jaded and vice versa which hit a nerve with me in a big way. I've always been cynical and I've been told that it's a gift because it help(s/ed) me discern truth from lie and fact from fiction. I could go into a church and just know if it was real which is a good thing but I'm a realist at the same time which isn't really good when it comes down to faith. I've let myself be jaded by this world and my cynical spirit grew and is to the point where I'm cynical of the very God I serve and it pains me to see what I've done and what I'm allowing myself to become. I need to change what I've become, redirect myself and go back to where I started messing up and not try to fix it but learn from it all and move on with my life. I need to stop saying I'm sorry and feeling bad for all the wrong. I'm going to make myself the person I need to be but only through the grace of God will it be possible.

Past the Point

I am past the point of being overwhelmed, tired, and stressed. I am again getting sick for about the 5th or 6th time since October, my upper back in tighter then any knot, and my cousin-in-law is head for Iraqi, not a good time at all. I'm sleeping on and air mat cause my mom is in my bed cause my grandpa came down to see us and my mom gave up her room. Now don't get me wrong I'm very happy that my grandpa is here I'm just not happy with waking up with my butt and lower back on the ground and my head and legs 3" from the ground! On top of that I think I might like someone but I'm not really sure, my best friend is back in NY and one of my favorite students is leaving my school because she's always getting sick too.
On a good note thought today is my sisters birthday and that was a good time, even though we didn't get to hang out that much, but I'm still glad that I got to be with her today. She is the greatest sister that I could ever ask for and I love her so very much.
Well good-night...I hope