Awesome Truths

I went to college night at the church where I work and JJ just spoke so much truth tonight, a message I needed to hear. We learning about being pure and no I'm not talking about abstaining from sex, although that is a part of it all. Tonight we talked about pure worship and how it become a show with some people and places. We've let ourselves raise our hands and sing but the point of worship is lost, it's become a public display and it's wrong. If a person can not worship without eyes and really in the presents of God then they can't do it when the whole church/world/whomever is watching. He made a point about how people have become cynical and therefore jaded and vice versa which hit a nerve with me in a big way. I've always been cynical and I've been told that it's a gift because it help(s/ed) me discern truth from lie and fact from fiction. I could go into a church and just know if it was real which is a good thing but I'm a realist at the same time which isn't really good when it comes down to faith. I've let myself be jaded by this world and my cynical spirit grew and is to the point where I'm cynical of the very God I serve and it pains me to see what I've done and what I'm allowing myself to become. I need to change what I've become, redirect myself and go back to where I started messing up and not try to fix it but learn from it all and move on with my life. I need to stop saying I'm sorry and feeling bad for all the wrong. I'm going to make myself the person I need to be but only through the grace of God will it be possible.